Hey Dad! I 'll disappoint you.
October 12, 2016
I hope this won’t come as big surprise to you. Based on my behaviour in last few years, you should have guessed it; But I want to make it clear: I won’t live up-to your expectations.
When I was born, you might have had so much dreams of making a gentleman out of me, but I don’t want to be a gentleman. I could have just repeatedly studied those stupid school books, I could have listened to that worthless bastard who happened to be my highschool physics teacher, I could have even ignored the environment in college and just kept on with my work. If I had done that, I would have landed a overly compensating 9 to 5 job, maried a bimbo and became what others might as a gentleman. But I didn’t because I wasn’t made that way. And I never wanted to become such yuppie worthless piece of shit called a gentleman. Though my environment would ‘ve had some impact on my character, most of my traits are as per my genes. You were quite a non-conformist in your days. You didn’t follow others and you laid your own path. I am just doing the same thing, but in a bit extreme way.
When the world studied to learn a trade, I just couldn’t follow them. I wanted to be an unskilled labourer and learning a trade would make me otherwise. I couldn’t convince myself to learn some stupid shit to do a job like those yuppie bastards as the needs differ for everyone. Or should I say, “opinion differs.” I might have joined a college to be an engineer, but I took up classes for B.A. Religious Studies, but under a fake identity. I know that it is illegal, but somehow I felt that all the religions were part of a scam that is devised to last for millennia and I wanted to find as much as possible. But as you would have figured by now, I didn’t learn it to be tradesman of such sort, but to slate it. But everytime I did it, it offended the stupid followers of the religion and they were not ready to accept some simple facts that cntradicted with their opinion/beliefs. It seems very easy to convert people from one religion to other, though. For instance, a family who were Hindus converted to Christianity. When they were Hindus, they believed that there are millions of Gods, but now they say that there is only one God. If I ask them whether Gods like Shiva, Krishna et al are fake, they answer no. But they say they believe that there is only one god. What the fuck on earth is that supposed to mean? And then we have the politics. All those capitalists, Communalists, nationalists, anarchists, socialists and all other bastards. I was one of them. Being part of the side that I belonged to wasn’t welcomed very well in the college which was run by a thug who wanted to earn money, but had no managerial capability. And my folks were known for fighting injustice and capitalism, so no one would welcome us, anyway. Now please don’t think I am expert in any of these for not even a moment. I am capable to doing nothing. There is a reason why I work as an unskilled (pretty much) labourer in a job that doesn’t demand much use of brain or physique.
I am what I never wanted to be. I have ended up as someone whom I have despised when I was young. I have always loathed the worthless bastards who are stuck in a dead-end job, living all alone by themselves, with little or no interaction with community. That is all I am now.
I am not feeling sorry to have disappointed you, dad; but I am sorry for disappointing myself. It is too late to start over, but I am in a very unique position that most could never dream of. I am so powerful that I could easily kill thousand people before I was stopped. If I time it correctly, I could wipe of tens of thousands. But it is not powerful enough. I want to be as powerful as you - i want to make people live. As I have come to realise that being as powerful as you might be a very difficult task for me to accomplish in this life, I want to make at least a single human live. If a single person lives because of me, for me and with me.
Edit: (Edited after 8 hours of original post)
What the fuck was I thinking? These taxed drugs are so shitty and these makes one say stupid things. A word of advise people: “Do not drink alcohol and smoke tobacco based products.” Though police won’t catch you for using these as these are taxed, these are bad for you. Please smoke Ganja. We Indians have smoked Ganja for Millennia. Those european bastards bought those rum, whiskey, tobacco, etc to our country recently in 17th century. Let us some kush.
I don’t have any Ganja now, so I am just taking some barbiturates pills.
Anyway, coming back to the point. I don’t want any human. I fucking hate humans. I want to nuke them. I will wait until I am capable of wiping the genus Homo off the face of earth and then I will wipe. Or I will die trying.