Hey Dad! I 'll disappoint you.
January 15, 2013
I hope this won’t come as a big surprise to you. Based on my behaviour in the last few years, you should have guessed it; But I want to make it clear: I won’t live up to your expectations.
When I was born, you might have had so many dreams of making a gentleman out of me, but I don’t want an insipid life. I could have just repeatedly studied those stupid school books, I could have listened to that worthless bastard who happened to be my high school physics teacher, I could have even ignored the environment in college and just kept on with my work. If I had done that, I would have landed an overly compensating 9-to-5 job, married a woman, started and family and became what people call as a successful person. But I didn’t. Though my environment would ‘ve had some impact on my character, most of my traits are as per my genes. You were quite a non-conformist in your days. You didn’t follow others and you laid your own path. I am just doing the same thing but in a bit extreme way. So you are the one to be blamed.
I often think that maybe I am too stupid to know that I am stupid. I joined an engineering college like a sheep, failed in those tests which took some real effort to fail, took up religious studies, to slate it, realised that calling shit as a shit means nothing, so quit again and I have no clue what I am going to do next. No wonder I am working as an unskilled labourer in a job that doesn’t require much use of brain or physique. I can foretell that I will most likely end up as someone whom I despised: A worthless bugger stuck in a dead-end job, living all alone by himself, little or no interaction with community whatsoever, eating whatever junk that can get delivered to my door; or it could be worse - I might become one of those bourgeoisie.
Though I am not feeling very sorry to disappoint you, I am sorry about disappointing myself. It is too late to start over, but I am in a very unique position that most could never dream of. I am so powerful that I could easily kill thousand people before I was stopped. If I time it correctly, I could wipe of tens of thousands. But it is not powerful enough. I want to be as powerful as you - I want to be part of some chain that can help someone in some way. But being as important as you might be quite impossible for me to accomplish in this life, I hope to make at least one human smile.
Edit: What the fuck was I thinking? These taxed drugs are so shitty and these makes one say stupid things. A word of caution: “Do not drink alcohol.” Though police won’t catch you for using these as these are taxed, these are bad for you. We Indians have smoked Ganja for Millennia. Those european bastards bought that rum, whiskey, tobacco, etc to our country recently in the 17th century and we are stuck with that shit. Let us smoke some kush.
Edit2: I don’t have any Ganja now, but I do have barbiturate. 😈
Edit3: I fucking hate my species. I want to nuke this world, but that, unfortunately, kills all the species. I will wait until I am capable of wiping the genus Homo off the face of the earth and then I will wipe. Or I will die trying.